garrulously | Where Ivan truly achieves his life goals

He's started looking forward to the times David is scheduled to visit -- the other man is decent company, if hesitant and unsure about much of what Ivan's paid to teach him. Looking up from where he's seated on the couch, Ivan stops David before he can get close to him. No, today he had a different plan. After the events of last session, Ivan feels as if they could do something else to help encourage that closeness his client wanted. Massages were good, giving him a hand job was fine, but there's still something else.

"I thought we could start with something different," he says, and gestures to the other piece of furniture in his main office -- a tasteful fainting couch. "Physical intimacy doesn't require sex, so I thought we could cuddle. Your pick on how you'd like to proceed and before I ask you the usual questions."

The session before had given him more than enough to think about. For some reason, he feels a lot more anxious about this next session than he had about the first one he had attended. Part of him contemplates calling up the front office and canceling, but that would only put off the inevitable. Why was he so nervous about seeing Ivan again after what they had done? It was the man's job.

He sighs and braces himself before he enters the man's office. He is far too old to be dreading working through his issues whatever they seem to be now. And then Ivan's talking to him and he finds himself immediately redirected.

"Cuddling?" he asks surprised as he blinks and takes in the couch. That isn't what he expected when he came in and he slowly changes directions towards the couch. "I didn't realize there were several ways to proceed."

"Sure. Would you like to be held or do the holding?" That's the easiest way to go about this in Ivan's opinion, and he doesn't move to gesture David forward or move himself until he hears his answer.

There's a momentary flash of regret when he realizes he's surprised the other man -- that wasn't his intention at all. Still, he hopes that the physical intimacy part of all this will help put the other man at ease, if only for a little. It was something Ivan thought he liked, although he hadn't said as much.

That... Isn't something he's every had to consider before and he actually has to pause to think about it for a moment. The few times he's been close enough to do any cuddling, there hadn't been a choice. His hands rest in his lap before he glances over at Ivan.

"Held, I think," he answers as he settles more into his seat.

Ivan nods, and leans back into the corner of the fainting couch -- holding one arm open. "Come here, then," he says, gesturing the other man closer with his other arm. "And if you decide that you want to change positions, we can."

This is so stupid, he can't help but think as he shifts to lean against Ivan tentatively. He's tense and stiff, something that will only ease with time, and he keeps his hands to himself for now. Even with that tight knot sitting in the bottom of his stomach, something feels... different about this that he can't quite pinpoint. The same feeling that had hit him at the end of his last session.

"This should be fine," he murmurs. "But I'll let you know if that changes."

Ivan wraps one arm around his waist, encouraging him to lean against him fully. David's a warm, comfortable weight against him; he smiles, even though the other man can't see, encouragingly. "Good, thank you. How've things been?"

With what he's supposed to do, but Ivan finds that if the other man answered with what he'd been up to in his daily life he wouldn't mind. Not really.

Oh. Maybe he can do this. He glances down at the arm that's now around him then back up at Ivan. The man really was good at this. David relaxes somewhat against the other man even as his mind frets for an answer. He's not keen to start with answering the usual questions without prompting, not with how his 'homework' has progressed. It's been too successful in many ways.

Instead he decides to focus on less personal matters. "Well. I took a break from researching this week to go on one of those surface-desert tours you recommended. I'd seen pictures of what the rest of Beta Colony looked like, but it does the planet little justice."

Taking an interest in the planet itself? Unexpected, but nice to hear. Ivan rests his cheek against the top of David's head, breathing deep and attempting to note with professional curiosity how he smells. "It's something, isn't it? Everyone comes here for sex tourism -- not that I mind -- but there's a little bit more to the sandbox than the Orb." He pauses, then adds judiciously, "although with the Orb you're not going to get sand in places you can't wash out easily unless you ask for it."

He curls slightly against Ivan, feeling more comfortable the longer he's there. Ivan is a solid presence and it's nice knowing the man is trying to help him. Even if David isn't sure how he's going to handle the feelings that are stirring up. God, has he ever felt this way in a relationship before? He's not with Ivan by any stretch of the imagination, but it feels more like he is than anything else David's had.

He decides not to dwell too much on how sad that is just now. "I'm not sure I'll make it to the Orb." Going to an LSP is more than enough sexual excitement for him. "But I've enjoyed the sights I have seen. There are museums here despite what the pamphlets focus on."

"Yeah? Gonna miss the best thing Beta has to offer?" It's a joke -- he won't encourage the other man to go, knowing David as he does. That would be too much for him, he's reasonably certain. "I didn't even know we had museums. Well, other than the one about the founding of Beta Colony. We sit through that exhibit during school."

Ivan can't simply hold someone like this without moving -- the thumb of his hand rubbing circles into David's hip, over fabric. Idly, and mostly unconscious of the fact he's doing it at all.

Unlike Ivan, David is very much aware of the other man's movements. It's nice if he doesn't think too hard about it and he shifts in more against Ivan, pressing further against the man.

"I wasn't planning to go to it," he says with a half-shrug. The Orb hadn't been on the list of attractions that he wanted to see. "There's a few around though not many. There's one on military technology and application that I particularly enjoyed." Since it had a lot to do with trade and the same tech that the mercenaries Komarr frequently hired for help.

He's used to being taller than most of his clients -- apparently Barrayarans were tall by galactic standards, who knew -- but Duv is far more solid than he'd expect from an academic. Must be that business side of his family showing up, Ivan thinks, and rests his chin in the crook of David's neck, as if he's tucking the other man in against him.

"Sometimes they put in the tech they're just phasing out in that one," Ivan says, dimly recalling some of the conversations he's had with other clients. "Just to remind people we're only selling what we've figured out to defeat."

"Hm, it must be an effective tactic if it's been working for this long." Which makes him wonder what they aren't displaying. It's not in the realm of anything David does himself, but he finds the history alone fascinating. It's how Beta Colony has remained on the cutting edge of technology in general. Strange how the tourists only seem to come here for the pleasure aspect of the planet.

"You've never been the museums yourself?"

"Not really," Ivan admits, getting more comfortable against the couch and with David against him. "That sort of thing never held much interest for me. If I ever wanted to take someone out to see the sights, it's alway the tourist locations. Even we locals like 'em. Although you can't really beat a good feelie show."

"I haven't been to one yet. It seems a little..." He waves vaguely. "Much." As in, he's not sure he understands the appeal of a show going that far. What was wrong with simple holovids? Or simply reading. It felt a lot less... invasive than the 'feelie' shows this planet seemed to parade around at every opportunity.

In the back of his mind he thinks with mild amusement that of course the historian would be a little behind on current entertainment standards.

Ivan shrugs, having long accepted them as part of his life. "That's normally what galactics say about the entire planet. You're doing pretty good for just using that for the Orb and the feelie shows." He does prod David with one finger in an attempt to bring him around to the main topic.

"Speaking of, how's your assignment going?"

"I did come here to see a LSP," he murmurs. It was the entire purpose of the trip since his research had nothing to do with Beta Colony. There's a small frown at the prodding. David knows he's been diving into this tangent to avoid their usual conversation topic.

"The masturbating?" he asks dryly. Rhetorical, of course. "I've done it a few times this last week." So, already off to a better start. "Your, ah, demonstration last session helped a great deal."

That is a much better start indeed, and Ivan smiles where David can't see but certainly can feel. "Good. You're making good progress, you know, since you scheduled out a few months of sessions. You might not even need all of them." Not if they continue on at this rate.

"I'm not --" Is he really progressing quickly? He doesn't feel like he is. He attempts to shift enough to glance at Ivan sheepishly. Less sessions means less time he gets to see Ivan. The man truly is gorgeous and David's not sure he's ever thought that about anyone else before.

"I'll leave it to your professional opinion," he finally finishes.

Ivan gives him an encouraging grin at his expression and does not think about the idea of seeing David less. This is him, not thinking about it. Look at him go.

"That's what you came here for, isn't it? For a man who's never done anything with another man before, you're doing great." See? Just gentle encouragement. Ivan slides one of his hands into David's hair, threading through it absently. "You're willing to try, which puts you ahead of some of the clients I've had."

Without even realizing it, David's hit on the nerve that's been twitching in him. The hand in his hair keeps him in place though he's looking down as he tries to figure out how to articulate it. It's a thought that's been nagging him since their last session and he's been too afraid to give it words.

"Yes, that's... part of what's concerning me," he says voice quiet. "It's been easier than anything else I've done." In his admittedly limited experience, but he's starting to think it's a sign of something more.

"Easier?" Ivan prompts, trying to prod David to whatever revelation must had occurred to the other man. "How is that a concern?" He's a sexual therapist, not a complete one. They've discussed sexual trauma in that the other man didn't have any, but-- surely he couldn't have been hiding it for that long.

"Yes," he answers lamely. He wishes he could just bury his face into the man's shoulder and hide from what he's about to imply. This shouldn't be that hard dammit. It's not as if most people on Komarr would care or even notice beyond giving him a strange look, but his family... He sighs and ends up curling a little more into Ivan's hold. At least for the moment.

"Than anything else I've done. My, ah, previous experience has only been with women. I didn't think..."

Ah. Ivan pictures his test results and mentally adjusts it to account for what might be feelings of obligation and societal pressure. "That you could have a preference for men? It happens all the time in the Nexus. Not knowing, I mean. You don't think about it, or you can't think about it," and he wonders which one is more accurate for David, "and you don't question it until you're faced with it."

Which the other man clearly has been.

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