Where Ivan truly achieves his life goals

[komarran]

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[komarran]

There's quiet gratitude in his expression at the wordless invitation. It's a lot simpler when he doesn't have to ask though he knows how important that is on Beta Colony in general. Another thing he needs to work on and if Ivan's going to leave the end of their sessions open ended for David to decide, that should help.

"It seems to be," he agrees, settling in against Ivan's side. "I, ah, really like this." The cuddling. In case that wasn't obvious.

[whatdidisay]

He can't imagine what it's like, coming from a place where you don't ask. Don't things get tangled up before you can sit down and talk it out? What are actual interpersonal relationships like when that happens? It's something Ivan feels like he'll never know outside the bounds of his work, which is difficult enough when that happens.

"That's the idea, David," Ivan says with a grin, settling further into the couch. "I'm glad you do."

[komarran]

Part of him wishes he could have this in his personal life as well. Maybe changing his earrings up isn't a bad thing. If he ends up on a date with someone else, who knows. He might even enjoy it for once instead of rolling his eyes and being annoyed at his father's latest push for him to get bonded.

"It's hard not to fall asleep like this," he says a touch apologetically. The other man makes a very comfortable sleeping rest. "Do you have any advice if someone does approach me? To flirt that is."

[whatdidisay]

"If you do, I won't hold it against you. Or charge extra." As for how to flirt, well. Ivan frowns, thinking. "Most people just ask me, but flirting is different. You want to make a good initial impression when you start, so your job is to be receptive. If they're offering something you don't want you should never feel pressured to take them up on it. Open body gestures, leaning towards them, smiling and laughing. Positive encouragement."

It's not really something he has to worry about. People find him if Ivan doesn't take the initiative himself; it all depends on how he's feeling.

[komarran]

He frowns slightly as he consider all of that. He can revisit the whole 'napping against his LSP' idea later.

"All right. Are people on Beta Colony willing to go slow?" he asks with some hesitation. Because that's something that could easily cause problems in his 'practicing.' He doesn't want to lead a Betan on and with how sexually open their culture is, he doesn't know how receptive they'd be to simply dating with no guarantee of anything else. Briefly he reaches up to touch his earrings and he wonders if he even got the right pair to get that across.

[whatdidisay]

"If you found the right one. Everyone's needs and wants are different, and if you found someone you like who has a higher sex drive than you, you can always work out an open relationship with whatever terms and conditions you agree upon. Just be sure to say what you want and what you're looking for. The earrings help with that," he says, and nods gently towards them. Ivan can see why he'd be concerned, through the eyes of someone who's been a part of this for as long as he can remember.

Still, there's one thing he can't stress enough. "You need to communicate with whoever you're with. That part doesn't change with whatever you want your end goal to be."

[komarran]

"I need to practice that," he says with a small sigh and rubs at his face. He knows damn well how poor communication has been in his family and his own career doesn't require it behind the professionalism he maintains with students and faculty.

"Am I wearing the right ones? Earrings, I mean. Based on what you know."

[whatdidisay]

"Well the flirtation instead of sex eliminates any instant assumption that you'd be open to it," Ivan confirms. "You don't need to remark on any sort of level of commitment, not with 'seeing an LSP' attached. And that'll help people understand to be cautious."

All in all, Ivan thinks it'll do exactly what David wants it to do. "I would say you are, but-- they're your earrings. Only you can say for sure."

[komarran]

He breathes a small sigh of relief as his hand moves to rest on Ivan's knee without David really thinking about it. That's exactly what he wants. As long as he's not accidentally leading anyone into thinking he's going to have sex with them right off the bat, he may be able to navigate the dangerous waters that make up Beta Colony sexuality.

"If that's their precise meaning then that's what I want. I wasn't sure if I was missing any nuances," he admits.

[whatdidisay]

Ah, earring reading and its fine art. "Anyone who'd hear you talking would know you're a galactic -- and we tend to go easy on you," Ivan adds with a smile, covering David's hand with his own and keeping it there. He's being encouraging, alright. "After all, we're taught these things and have a lifetime to figure out what they mean. You're not so lucky."

[komarran]

The flush returns to his face at the feel of Ivan's hand on his though he doesn't pull away. There's a moment of hesitation before he presses his fingertips lightly into the man's thigh then quickly lightening his touch again. There's far more muscle there than he's used to feeling with the few partners he has had before.

"I'm trying to make him for lost time," he says dryly. "I'm glad my accent gives me away."

[whatdidisay]

"And makes you attractive to those trolling for galactics," Ivan points out with a wry grin. Something in him hitches the moment he feels David's fingers tighten on his thigh -- he appreciates the other man testing out boundaries, but the sudden overwhelming physical response to him is unusual. But something he can deal with, he's certain of it.

[komarran]

"Yes, I've met a few of those already. Some attempted to give me their comconsole numbers for after I finished my session," he says flatly. Not entirely unwelcome, but incredibly confusing. He always thought it would be so much easier for them to go for someone Beta Colony who had their sexuality figured out. "Is it the allure of the exotic?"

[whatdidisay]

"And you get the best reactions from galactics. You should see some of the Barrayarans that wander through here." A clean break from his planet of origin -- he doesn't even count himself as from it in anything but name and half of a very confused cultural upbringing. "They're fun, once you figure out what they want. And, because they're normally here for no strings attached sex, relatively easy."

[komarran]

"I'm not sure I could do that," he replies with a frown. Casual sex with no strings isn't something he's ever had. Even Ivan giving him a handjob had essentially been part of the man's job as his LSPT. "I'm trying to avoid that and I don't want anyone thinking that's what I want."

[whatdidisay]

"You're wearing earrings," Ivan points out, "they'll know to look for those first." It's one of the things he would have recommended the other man do if he hadn't when he first came to see him.

[komarran]

"I'm starting to wish we had clear signs on Komarr," he murmurs. It would make figuring out how to date men without creating a target of himself far easier. Mostly within his family. How would his father handle it with all his talk of potential, female bondmates that he'd like Duv to be with?

[whatdidisay]

Ivan considers that a minute, readjusting his hold on David into something far more comfortable. "There won't be clear signs, but I bet there'll be signs. How else are you supposed to find someone who's interested in the things you are?" You'll have to dig for it, but I'm sure they're there.

[komarran]

He sighs and nods as he rests his head against Ivan's shoulder. "Yes, I suppose there will be. I'll have to figure out what they are." Good god, had he missed several of them before making this realization? Hands brushing, cautious smiles given to him by other men who were well aware of his long-standing status as single while part of those Galens.

Keeping it hidden might be the harder part.

[whatdidisay]

"Why not find a Komarran ex-pat living here who's not straight and ask them?" Privacy? What privacy? You're on Beta Colony, son.

[komarran]

Was Ivan really asking him that? "And how am I going to find someone who fits that exact criteria? I haven't met a single Komarran since arriving." Unless the man has a few hidden up his sleeves.

[whatdidisay]

"Er," Ivan starts, realizing that this is a good point. "Maybe ask the Komarran Embassy if they have a list of Komarran ex-pats willing to meet new arrivals? It might not hurt."

Is that even a thing? Ivan doesn't know, but it might be.

[komarran]

"I think I'll pass, if it's all the same." David's family is far too high profile for him to want to risk anything of the sort. God, would those at the embassy recognize him and his family name? Better to not find out. "I would rather not discuss anything with the embassy here."

[whatdidisay]

Ivan shrugs, accepting his answer with ease. "Then I suppose you're on your own, but there should be publications you can pick up that will help ease you into it."

[komarran]

He hesitates for a split second before asking, "Do you have more than the ones you gave me?" Please say yes. Or else he's going to have an interesting network search history during his time here. Though he supposes he can take solace in the fact that it will be less weird than the rest of Beta Colony's.