garrulously | Where Ivan truly achieves his life goals

"Everyone's different," Ivan supplies automatically. "Just because someone's comfortable at an early stage doesn't mean someone who isn't is doing something wrong, or won't ever be. The goal is to work at your pace, to the goal you want." And he does want it, so Ivan figures they'll get David there eventually.

It does answer his other question, though. "I take it the other part of your homework didn't go so well."

He sighs and leans back in his seat, running one hand through his short hair. "Was it that easy to tell?" he asks dryly. "I forgot until I was about to fall asleep last night. I did buy something to help before I left last time, but I haven't tried it."

Still factory-sterile and packaged. Even with Ivan's placation, he can't help but feel embarrassed by the admission. So simple and yet, he got caught up in reading the materials more than any practical application of anything.

"Let's talk about why," he prompts, reclining to give this an air of casualness -- although he does pick up one of David's hands to begin to massage it. Ivan wants to get to a back massage today for the other man, but they really need to work through this problem first.

"I don't really know " he confesses and gladly surrenders his hand to Ivan. That's better than wringing his own hand together by far. "It didn't cross my mind. I got caught up in my research and left the, ah, toy I bought in a drawer."

"Would it help to block off a time of day? Make into a routine to destress." Theoretically, at any rate, but it seems to only shove more stress on the other man rather than offer a chance for escape. Damn.

"It... might," is his tentative reply. It's not something he's ever tried, but David is trying to imagine trying to add 'masturbation' into his day planner and it doesn't fit. Wasn't it supposed to be spontaneous, only when one felt like pleasuring themselves? Which really is where his problem seems to be.

"The difficulty I've had is getting in the mood for it."

Ah. Yes, that would be a problem. Ivan's never thought that masturbation -- or anything related to sex -- was a chore, but he realizes his sex drive is way above some people's.

"Well, how have you been trying? I've got a few suggestions but I'd like to know how you're going about it."

He frowns lightly at that and focuses his gaze on their hands. That gives him something much better to direct his attention to if he has to explain this to the man. It almost feels like a personal failing on his part.

"I don't light candles or spread petals around or anything," he murmurs dryly before clearing his throat and getting serious. "I, ah, tried watching or reading something I thought would interest me and..." With his free hand he makes a feeble 'jerking off'/stroking gesture and shrugs. "It's harder when I'm not in the mood already."

"So the issue is getting into the mood, and not any difficulties with actually doing it. If candles and petals would help get you there--" Ivan says, teasing sliding into his otherwise professional tone before he coughs slightly. Right. "Have you thought about personal fantasies? Sometimes it's easier to get into the mood when you imagine it happening to you, rather than watching from a third person perspective."

Smiling, Ivan shrugs. "Just imagine your ideal scenario. With a long term partner, maybe, doesn't have to be a man."

That would be a lot nicer if he actually had someone like that, but that's part of why he's here, isn't it? He nods slightly. "I'll try it next time. The toy may help since it's to help stimulate while I'm, ah, stroking."

And may help feel less like him on a lonely night in. He doesn't know when that feeling began settling in, but it was more frequent the older he became. Still not bonded as his father often liked to remind him.

Ivan grins, and nods encouragingly. "Let me know how it goes, next time. But that sounds good, very proactive." He's proud of you, David. And feels like they can move onto something else.

"If you're feeling up for it, I'd like to give you a back massage. We can talk more about Komarr or your family at the same time, if you'd like. Or if you've been doing anything else on Beta."

"I'd... like that, I think." Has he ever been so unsure about everything in his damn life. He rubs at his face with his free hand and says more firmly, "No, I definitely would like that, thank you."

A massage from an attractive man while they simply talked. No expectations or demands being made of him. The more he thinks about it, the nicer it sounds.

Ivan nods and stands, offering David his hand and gesturing to a massage chair, tucked away in a neatly partitioned off part of his office. There's a bed back there as well, sizable and neat but not the focus of what Ivan has planned for today.

"Please remove your shirt, David -- I'll be there in a moment," he calls back, going to pick up some oil and a bar -- he'll let David pick which one he wants more, from a drawer.

He's not sure what he expected when he came into the sectioned-off area. Of course there'd be a bed here, Ivan is a LSP. He tries not to focus on it as he works on removing his very Komarran top and folds it neatly to set somewhere. The thought slithers through his mind that he can't even remember the last time someone saw him without his shirt on and attempts to shake it out.

With a heavy sigh, he settles into the massage chair and rests his hands on his knees.

What will it take for the other man to do anything sexually related without sighing? Ivan doesn't know, but he can at least try and help the other man. And he's still wearing Komarran stuff. Ivan does have to admit that, in the abstract, the other man makes them look good.

"Tell me more about Komarr," Ivan starts, pressing his thumbs on either side of the base of his neck after rubbing his hands down with massage oil. "I know it's got domes, like Beta Colony, but we went underground."

Komarr, as far as he knows, didn't.

"We're still on the surface. There's terraforming efforts happening, but it's at a slow pace." He resists the urge to shrug as Ivan gets t owork on his shoulders. The poor LSP will find a lot of tension hidden in Duv's muscles.

"Unfortunately the emphasis has been on maintaining our trade fleets and routes rather than investing it back in our planet's future."

Good god, he doesn't know if he's ever felt anyone as tense as David before -- it has to be more than the stress and nerves about going to see an LSPT. At least this'll help the other man rather than just being something to get the man used to physical contact.

"That seems at odds. Don't you want to get out to the surface at all? Or at least give someone else the chance to?" He asks, working circles into the muscles of David's back, working out from the spine along his shoulders.

He motions vaguely with his hand. "You'd think." David knows he would like to at some point in his life, but it's not going to happen. Maybe for his grandchildren, if he ever has any.

He leans forward onto his knees and closes his eyes. How the hell does the man's hands feel so good? He closes his eyes and while he's still talking, his attention is focused on the easing of tension. "We can go out on the surface with air masks. Everyone's drilled on their use from a young age for emergencies, but..." He shakes his head lightly. "I'd rather they not be necessary at all."

They could see the planet, but they were still apart from it in so many ways.

"We've turned ours into a sort of experience, although you have to wear a mask too, if you're planning on being out long enough. Hellish, though, since it's so damn hot." He comes across a difficult spot on his right shoulder, and refocuses his efforts in loosening the knot there, digging in harder than he thought he'd have to. "Sorry, it's just-- I feel like you'd snap in half if I stared at you too long. You're supposed to bend, David, not be so ridged."

How did the man survive like this? "It'll be livable one day, though, which is something it has over Beta Colony."

A soft sound of relief slips past his lips as Ivan works out that particular knot. "Ah -- no, it's fine, that feels nice actually." Please don't stop, Ivan. Is this what he's been missing by not getting a massage sooner?

"One day, if we invest enough. Your surface is an 'experience?'"

That's the first positive sounding noise he's heard the man make, and it brings a smile to Ivan's face. Maybe David isn't as lost of a cause as both he and Ivan consider him. Well, Ivan professionally never declares anyone a lost cause when it comes to sex. He moves to the next bunch of tense muscles he can feel, humming slightly.

"Yeah. You can take tours, go wandering around the sand, see a few tiny ponds. Things like that. The more adventurous tourists love it."

He might melt into his seat. David leans forward, resting more heavily on his arms as Ivan works what David can only consider magic on his back. Somehow even the humming is relaxing in its own way.

"I may have to do that before I have to leave," he says thoughtfully. A trip out on the surface couldn't be too horrible and it'd be a nice change from the colder surface of Komarr. "One day I'd like to visit a planet where I can walk around without fearing the air."

"I can give you the numbers of some of the tour groups," Ivan supplies helpfully, "they really like showing galactics around." They tip well, at least that's what Ivan's heard. As for that, Ivan considers what planet. "There's always Escobar, and Earth."

David's a historian, right? Maybe he'd get something out of visiting that backwater planet that other people wouldn't.

"I'd appreciate it." Then he could be sure he's visiting a reputable group.

He glances over his shoulder at Ivan as he considers the two planets. "I've been wanting to visit Earth to see the sights. I know there's not much else there, but that's where our history originates. It'd be interesting to see where it all started." God, what a thought. Maybe he should have taken his sabbatical to go visit Earth instead.

"I'd like to see London, if I was ever unfortunate to end up there. It seems to be the place with the best nightlife. Although Keri from down the hall says the underwater tours of San Francisco are not to be missed." But really the only thing the planet has going for it is the history, something that Ivan has no real interest in.

Ivan shoots him a small grin, moving further down his back. "Still good?"

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