ivan wants out of this conversation, a post

[whatdidisay]

Ivan has the distinct feeling of being trapped, and he’s not quite sure how it happened. It is, he thinks, not his fault. Whose fault it is remains to be seen, but Ivan feels like Byerly, Dono, and his own mother are the three top contenders. Byerly, because if he wasn’t sleeping with By he wouldn’t be here at all. Dono, because he just has a suspicion. And his own mother — betrayal of the highest order — is the one who suggested he might swing by Vorkosigan House on an errand.

Aunt Cordelia is probably also to blame. But the point is: not his fault. None of this is, as he finds himself shepherded into the library, and maybe if he keeps telling himself that, it’ll be true.

Consolation comes in the form of a plate of Ma Kosta leftover after-dinner snacks and a bottle of wine. It is, Ivan decides morosely as he pours himself a glass and helps himself to two things absolutely drowned in powdered sugar, a very effective form of bait. And he, the damn fool who took it. What did his mother even say to the Count and Countess that would make them want to keep him here at their leisure? It has to do with Byerly, there’s no way that the timing makes sense otherwise, but he thought that telling his mother would be the end of it. Just once, and then it’s over.

His luck has never been that good when it comes to Vorkosigans. Blast this whole family loyalty thing.

Maybe his aunt and uncle will decide he’s not worth the trouble, although he’s not sure about which one he’s getting. Probably Aunt Cordelia, what with her Betan sensibilities and all. That’s terrifying to even consider, but so is the alternative. Maybe Uncle Aral will have decided that he’s not worth the time, and he’ll get away from this without having to talk to either of them. He can go home, back to his bed and potentially Byerly.

This is the thought that consoles him as he sits on the couch, waiting. Although it definitely doesn’t prevent him from jerking up into a ramrod straight siting position the moment he hears the door. Dammit.

Comments

[whatdidisay]

It's somehow worse than Ivan imagined. He has no problem flat out rejecting his cousin -- that's old news by now. But his uncle? He's got less practice at that, mostly because his uncle doesn't ask him for anything. Ivan's fine with that. There's no reason for that to suddenly change the moment he decided to sleep with someone of the same gender. Bisexuality surely does not qualify him for anything other than his normal workload, or else he never would have gotten into this.

"Surely it's nothing you need me for, sir. Although I'd be happy to volunteer Byerly, if that's what you want."

Sorry Byerly, Ivan thinks, it's for the best.